Florida's THAT Big

This is it. I'm just going to try this running thing and my life will be complete. Haha. Kidding.


Wow, Florida's a big place. I wonder how anyone could navigate here so easily. Ugh, my head's aching. Maybe I should already get some sleep.
Ah, my first half-marathon.

THIS IS IT MELISSA! YOU'RE GOING TO DO GREAT!
FOLLOW THE TRAIL AND DON'T RUN TO ANY MCDONALD'S OKAY?

I put on my pink sports bra, black leggings, and my new running shoes (yep! I bought them just for this occasion! Hooray for me!) then proceed to the Carlton Reserve, because y'know, that's where the race is going to be.
And you know what? I didn't even stop at any drive-thru on the way! Ugh, I am soooo proud of myself right now for this...

Okay, Melissa. You can do this. You are a strong woman. You will finish this marathon.
Okay, let's go!
As I take my place on the starting line, I took deep breaths to calm my nerves. My palms are already sweaty from the nervousness...

Can I really do this?

BANG!
Oh wait, that's the gun! That's the signal to run!
RUN, MELISSA! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE GIRL! RUUUUUUN!
Okaaaaay. So I'm off to a good start. I'm keeping my pace timed and I'm not really that far behind from the others... okay, okay. This is going good. Okay, okay let's do this! C'mon Melissa! You can go faster than that you fat little pig!
Gosh, okay, this is getting really tiring... let me catch my breath for a while...

And from that short little break, things started NOT going as planned.


I was lost.


Ah, yes, you might think this is some horror story about a girl who got lost in the woods and gets eaten up by a bear or a cannibal or something but NO.

The park's security eventually found me.
And guess what? That was after 12 HOURS.

YEP. 12 HOURS. YOU READ THAT RIGHT.

Oh, and I found out I was 16 miles off course. Hooray for me

Yep. That's me alright.


Ugh Melissa, how can you be so stupid??


I am NEVER going to do this again.

NEVER EVER EVER.

I'm just going to go home and sleep and forget about this and tomorrow will be a new day and I'll start again.


This never happened. Okay, Melissa? It NEVER happened.




Oh, wait! A Mcdonald's! YAAAAAS! Drive Thru!!!!!
---

Melissa Kitcher had full intentions of completing her first half-marathon Sunday, but it's safe to say she pictured it ending a little bit differently.
Kitcher went missing for nearly 12 hours after running off the trail during the Trail Hog Half-Marathon at the Carlton Reserve near Venice in Sarasota County, Florida.

"I kept thinking to myself, 'Wow, how do people run these trails? I can't even walk them,'" she said. "When I hit the power lines I said, 'Yes I'm definitely way off course. I'm lost.'"

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